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When Anxiety Takes Hold

Last weekend was the first painful period I have had in a long, long time. I had honestly forgotten just how painful endometriosis pain can be, until then. The cramping started in the morning and persisted right through the day. It didn’t seem to make the world of difference how much tea I drank or how much I tried to will it away.

I couldn’t understand what was going on. I had been doing so well and somehow perhaps with the mixture of stress and not eating quite as well as I had been, it culminated into this dreadful painful period. What started to happen next was quite scary. I started to get those nasty thoughts. Those thoughts of wonder and fear all whirled into an anxious mess. I started to imagine the worst things were happening in my body. That it was somehow being overtaken by endometriosis and that it was spreading like some overgrown weed, slithering into all the crevices in my body. I started to envisage my entire lower abdomen being overtaken by endometrial cells and that it was completely out of control and frightening. I began to cry over it all. I felt overwhelmed, defeated and just damn scared of it all. I just wanted it all to end and for that dreadful pain to end. I wanted the endometriosis and my fears to be stopped of its nastiness taking over my whole body. I felt hopeless mixed with a sense of exhaustion. I had no energy for positivity, no energy for “let’s keep trying” and no energy for even remote thoughts of possibility of finding a cure for myself.

It was a frightening place to be. I had forgotten how it used to feel.

The good news is that the day did pass and the pain passed and the next day everything felt normal again and totally controllable and do-able. It was just in that moment, in that day, filled with pain and fear and that nasty place of total anxiety that I felt lost and defeated. I blame the hormones! I think it is a culmination of being in pain, feeling tired and sore but also that the hormones are dropping and freaking out!

I think for many of us, this pain and this endless exhaustion and these thoughts can become so dominant. We can let that fear and those anxious tendencies completely dominate us every single day. We think the worst of our bodies and our endometriosis—many of us can blame doctors for planting these nasty thoughts in our heads! Whether it is that we should “just deal with it” or “you are exaggerating the pain.” We get told that we can’t control endometriosis and that we will land up with blocked tubes and cysts and all these nasty thoughts come in, that it will completely take over our abdominal cavity! It makes us so scared and so anxious to think this way. We become complete victims to endometriosis and its wrath of pain. I do get it. Hey, I experienced this downward spiral of thoughts last weekend and for many, many years prior to this.

Here’s the thing… that way of thinking doesn’t help any. I know we sometimes have those days where we need to almost wallow—I get them too but ultimately it isn’t going to make us change anything and it certainly won’t help our endometriosis. Anxiety = stress, and stress is not good for endometriosis, those who experience them at the same time should use high bioavailablity CBD products to reduce the effects as much as possible. Inevitably, when we worry we get sore and the more sore we get the more worried we get—total vicious circle!

So, how do we delve into a place of healing and move forward? How can we find the energy and motivation to change?

I know for me, it came down to just being sick of being sick and tired. I was tired of feeling like crap all the time. I was tired of living on painkillers and taking all sorts of drugs to deal with the side effects of the others! I was on an endless exhaustion merry-go-round. Each morning was more of a question of how much I could endure on that day than what I was actually going to do with my day. I just couldn’t do THAT anymore. My choice to use food to heal was more of a PUSH decision than necessarily a PULL decision. I was desperate for something to work and when I started just cutting out certain foods, and things started to feel better… it became really easy. It didn’t take me any more time to make a bowl of quinoa with berries than it did to make toast with peanut butter. It didn’t take any more time to order and wait for pizza than to make a delicious salad of roasted vegetables. Yes, it did take a little more energy but the energy was marginal compared to the payback of energy I got from eating this way.

There was a space between. A space where I had to ruffle myself up and change. I get that this is the space where so many of us get stuck. We get stuck there because it takes extra energy. Energy so many of us simply don’t have enough of.

Here’s the thing. I can give you a guarantee. A guarantee that by changing your diet and what you eat, you will feel better. You will have more energy and you will notice a difference. It might take a little while to show its benefits but what you eat, how you nourish your body, makes a difference. It makes a difference because you are providing the right tools for your body to allow itself to heal. Whatever minerals, vitamins and ingredients your body needs to find balance and heal is in the food. Yes, you can find some in the supplements and herbal remedies but ultimately it is in the food.

Start small. Start with today and choose a nourishing meal instead of just ANY meal. Pick something that gives your body real fuel, real healing tools. Just start today with one meal.

I created a recipe book which can give you ideas on how to start. It has recipes, which are designed to be nourishing. They don’t have any foods or ingredients that stimulate inflammation or inhibit mineral absorption. They provide healing, nourishing tools for your body to heal.

Endometriosis doesn’t need to completely dominate your life. The pain doesn’t need to be something you just learn to live with. You can gain power over this thing! I have done it, and so can you!

I know that stress is a massive contributor to pain and when we build all that anxiety about what is potentially going on in our bodies, it will merely culminate into more stress. feeling powerless and defeated doesn’t give us any hope or power. When we take over and take power over endo, we don’t just gain a less anxious outlook but we also can be constructive in moving forward, rather than just staying stuck.

You can.

Hugs, Melissa x
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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Summer Crew

    I was recently diagnosed with PCOS on top of endo….the last surgery i had was horrible…I started the “endo diet” about 4 months ago it has helped but my ovaries are produces MAD amounts of huge cysts….so now my GP has diagnosed me with PCOS and i am seeing an endocrinologist in august…..i am deathly afraid to go under again its been almost two years since i have….a lot of things the surgeon did were suspicious….i was under for 3 hours and i my “recovery” was about two months…he did a lot of things like not show me the pictures of the surgery…i was/am in WAY more pain than i was before the surgery…..i got a second opinion and he (the surgeon who did this surgery) didnt even want to read the 2nd opinion ….he said they were wasting money and so many other things were said about this second opinion(which was a doctor who was highly recommended for endo patients)…..i realized that I could do anything i wanted…i stopped feeling sorry for myself and I stop attaching “my endometriosis” when i speak of it…..i started caring for myself….i have had cyst pop almost every month even before i was diagnosed with endo…..i have a good attitude about life and i dont take anything for granted….you make a lot of good points….i just believe everyone has different pain and other health problems(physical)…..i just lost my grandmother which i thought would put me in a downward spiral but it didnt ….im not depressed….and i take pain meds…which i get a lot slack for….but they help me be able to function….im not sure what tomorrow will bring but i know i dont worry about it….i meditate everyday and im out of the house about twice a week on average …im finishing school and I am going back to work …..its not that my pain has changed its that my mind has changed …..anxiety is a dark enemy that brings on more pain,depression and self loathing…. life is not cut and dry as i wanted to be a mother and i am childless and will be 36 this september…..time is only your enemy if you dont appreciate what you have right in front of you…..my husband is wonderful…..there is so much more to life than the grind of negativity that can consume you….i chose not to let it

    -Summer♥

  2. Melissa

    Perhaps 🙂 I hope so. That way it will return back to normal. Might be that we both happen to be moving and all that change and all is stressful 🙂

  3. Melissa

    When the body is nourished, it will be balanced and it will have a chance to really heal 🙂

  4. Cheryline

    What do you think caused your pain that you have not experienced for a long time? I thought because i just can’t quit many foods that i should that i can’t seem to get better, but i had thought you were really strict about food so with so much nourishment is there a way for the pain to return? do you think the cause was related to your previous article?

  5. Melissa

    Yes perhaps. It does seem to be strange that so many of us are going through more pain than normal. At least we didn’t do it alone 🙂

  6. Dolley Days via Facebook

    hang in there mate i’m sure releaf is just around the corner

  7. Dolley Days via Facebook

    hang in there mate i’m sure releaf is just around the corner

  8. Aubree

    Oh Mel – I just suffered through a horrible period too – hasn’t been that bad in years. Interesting that you had a similar experience. I’ve heard talk of the influence of the super moon? Wonder if there is a correlation?

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I'm Melissa

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