Last weekend was the first painful period I have had in a long, long time. I had honestly forgotten just how painful endometriosis pain can be, until then. The cramping started in the morning and persisted right through the day. It didn’t seem to make the world of difference how much tea I drank or how much I tried to will it away.
I couldn’t understand what was going on. I had been doing so well and somehow perhaps with the mixture of stress and not eating quite as well as I had been, it culminated into this dreadful painful period. What started to happen next was quite scary. I started to get those nasty thoughts. Those thoughts of wonder and fear all whirled into an anxious mess. I started to imagine the worst things were happening in my body. That it was somehow being overtaken by endometriosis and that it was spreading like some overgrown weed, slithering into all the crevices in my body. I started to envisage my entire lower abdomen being overtaken by endometrial cells and that it was completely out of control and frightening. I began to cry over it all. I felt overwhelmed, defeated and just damn scared of it all. I just wanted it all to end and for that dreadful pain to end. I wanted the endometriosis and my fears to be stopped of its nastiness taking over my whole body. I felt hopeless mixed with a sense of exhaustion. I had no energy for positivity, no energy for “let’s keep trying” and no energy for even remote thoughts of possibility of finding a cure for myself.
It was a frightening place to be. I had forgotten how it used to feel.
The good news is that the day did pass and the pain passed and the next day everything felt normal again and totally controllable and do-able. It was just in that moment, in that day, filled with pain and fear and that nasty place of total anxiety that I felt lost and defeated. I blame the hormones! I think it is a culmination of being in pain, feeling tired and sore but also that the hormones are dropping and freaking out!
I think for many of us, this pain and this endless exhaustion and these thoughts can become so dominant. We can let that fear and those anxious tendencies completely dominate us every single day. We think the worst of our bodies and our endometriosis—many of us can blame doctors for planting these nasty thoughts in our heads! Whether it is that we should “just deal with it” or “you are exaggerating the pain.” We get told that we can’t control endometriosis and that we will land up with blocked tubes and cysts and all these nasty thoughts come in, that it will completely take over our abdominal cavity! It makes us so scared and so anxious to think this way. We become complete victims to endometriosis and its wrath of pain. I do get it. Hey, I experienced this downward spiral of thoughts last weekend and for many, many years prior to this.
Here’s the thing… that way of thinking doesn’t help any. I know we sometimes have those days where we need to almost wallow—I get them too but ultimately it isn’t going to make us change anything and it certainly won’t help our endometriosis. Anxiety = stress, and stress is not good for endometriosis, those who experience them at the same time should use high bioavailablity CBD products to reduce the effects as much as possible. Inevitably, when we worry we get sore and the more sore we get the more worried we get—total vicious circle!
So, how do we delve into a place of healing and move forward? How can we find the energy and motivation to change?
I know for me, it came down to just being sick of being sick and tired. I was tired of feeling like crap all the time. I was tired of living on painkillers and taking all sorts of drugs to deal with the side effects of the others! I was on an endless exhaustion merry-go-round. Each morning was more of a question of how much I could endure on that day than what I was actually going to do with my day. I just couldn’t do THAT anymore. My choice to use food to heal was more of a PUSH decision than necessarily a PULL decision. I was desperate for something to work and when I started just cutting out certain foods, and things started to feel better… it became really easy. It didn’t take me any more time to make a bowl of quinoa with berries than it did to make toast with peanut butter. It didn’t take any more time to order and wait for pizza than to make a delicious salad of roasted vegetables. Yes, it did take a little more energy but the energy was marginal compared to the payback of energy I got from eating this way.
There was a space between. A space where I had to ruffle myself up and change. I get that this is the space where so many of us get stuck. We get stuck there because it takes extra energy. Energy so many of us simply don’t have enough of.
Here’s the thing. I can give you a guarantee. A guarantee that by changing your diet and what you eat, you will feel better. You will have more energy and you will notice a difference. It might take a little while to show its benefits but what you eat, how you nourish your body, makes a difference. It makes a difference because you are providing the right tools for your body to allow itself to heal. Whatever minerals, vitamins and ingredients your body needs to find balance and heal is in the food. Yes, you can find some in the supplements and herbal remedies but ultimately it is in the food.
Start small. Start with today and choose a nourishing meal instead of just ANY meal. Pick something that gives your body real fuel, real healing tools. Just start today with one meal.
I created a recipe book which can give you ideas on how to start. It has recipes, which are designed to be nourishing. They don’t have any foods or ingredients that stimulate inflammation or inhibit mineral absorption. They provide healing, nourishing tools for your body to heal.
Endometriosis doesn’t need to completely dominate your life. The pain doesn’t need to be something you just learn to live with. You can gain power over this thing! I have done it, and so can you!
I know that stress is a massive contributor to pain and when we build all that anxiety about what is potentially going on in our bodies, it will merely culminate into more stress. feeling powerless and defeated doesn’t give us any hope or power. When we take over and take power over endo, we don’t just gain a less anxious outlook but we also can be constructive in moving forward, rather than just staying stuck.