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Do we Simply Lack Love?

I have been reading so many books, I am going insane with information overload! Well, last night I read an excerpt from a book which claimed that Endometriosis sufferers indicate:

“ A lack of self love and a need to replace this with sugar”. Now, I don’t believe everything I read because boy we know there is some weird information out there but this one seemed to hit a nerve with me. Does it hit a nerve with you?

I know I have come a long way with loving myself and appreciating myself for who I am but there seems to be some element of truth to this statement. I noticed when I eat sugar or crave sugar and it seems to always be on my “bad days”. Days when nothing is going my way and I feel ….. under valued, under appreciated and in a nut shell…. Not loved enough. I know I seemed to need constant recognition and need that “pat on the back” and being told I am fantastic and all that more than it seemed others did. It annoyed me and I have always wondered why.

Loving oneself is actually quite a new concept to me. It was not really a done thing to show an honest appraisal of oneself towards others, especially as a “lady”. It is like being too full of oneself or something. I know for me, now things look a little different than they ever did. I do have to admit a lot of that has to do with James, who loves me and supports me like you wouldn’t believe but I also feel stronger in who I am more than I ever did when I was younger.

I seemed to need others approval of me all the time when I was in my teens and early 20’s. This illustrated a sign of being loved, in some way and being acknowledged. When a boss or someone I valued said something negative, I would take it as a whole attack on me as a person. I found it hard to move past this and the horrible need to prove myself to get this “love” all the time. It was exhausting. Though I knew this about myself for years, I turned it around and told myself that needing approval and recognition was a good thing, cos it made me work harder and achieve more. Funny though cos it always brought with it a whole lot of stress!

I feel different about it now. I know myself and I know what I am good at. I feel strong in the person that I am more than I ever have. I also make sure I show myself that I am special. This could be silly things like giving myself a massage or my special pamper treatments – a 2hr long session which involved a full body treatment and includes masks, scrubs and lots of beautiful oils!

It is quite hard to really acknowledge that we don’t truly love everything about ourselves. We have to accept everything good or bad and focus more on the good, perhaps?

I know by doing my first EFT session the other day, I realised where my self-destructive pattern in wanting approval came from. It came from an approval that I sought from my mother. I wanted her love and took her lack of it into all aspects of my life. I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, until she gave me hers. It is weird, since doing the session, I feel no pain when I write this and it is amazing to me to be able to admit it to you. The drive for her approval had made me so stressed out in my life and who I was and now, I feel so safe and more complete about myself and what I really want. It is a good place to be.

Do you feel loved enough? Do you think sugar is your friend when you don’t feel loved enough? Does it replace the lack you feel from others or more importantly from yourself? Is it an endless self destructive pattern?

Sugar is one of our biggest enemies to healing. It wrecks our immune system and this one of the elements we need to support, to overcome endo. When we eat sugar we make it harder to achieve this. It is crucial we learn to live without sugar – just for a period of time…. but if we have this constant emotional attachment to sugar it becomes quite hard to stick to that.

I must admit, I used to eat a bar of chocolate a day! Yes, every single day. When Endo got sore, I ate even more chocolate. I could quite often polish off an entire block of chocolate in one sitting without any hesitation. I haven’t had chocolate cravings since doing my EFT session. It is quite strange for me. I don’t even miss my chocolate or crave any sugar and it is usually in moments like these that I would be mad on the sugar – when I am a little stressed from too much going on in my life.

Did the statement hit a nerve with you? Do you crave sugar when you feel undervalued or under loved? Do you love yourself enough? How do you show yourself real love? What helps you achieve peace within yourself?

Hugs, Melissa x
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This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Sameera

    Hi Melissa,

    I can almost always identify with these kind of posts of yours because I am the same too! Always felt this great need to be told that I am special, loved etc – not that there was a lack of love, maybe because there always was love – I felt it was my right or something 🙂

    I also still have a need to feel validated and yes I crave for my mother’s approval. I am trying to change now to understand how much this is causing me stress and unnecessary headaches.
    Thanks for this post

  2. endoangel

    Perhaps it does get easier because we realise that there are plenty of people in the world – outside of our parents who share love and give love so easily to us! I love that everyone says "I love you" there!That is awesome! I don't think that one has quite taken off yet in New Zealand or Australia and I might be deemed as slightly strange if I went around saying it! Yes, I can image the French culture and my German background are much the same in that respect! They just struggle to show affection of any kind. Not sure why?
    You strike me as quite a loveable person anyways! 🙂

  3. AnnabelleCGD

    Did the statement hit a nerve with me… lol!
    Yeah, I'm not sure why it's so hard to love myself. It probably has something to do with the relationship I had with my parents, and especially my Dad I would say.
    Everyone loves me! I make sure of that alright!!
    I remember when I first came tot the US how I was surprised by the fact that people said "I love you" so much. I wasn't sure how to react! For the longest time I didn't believe it, I thought people just said that like thay said thank you! But no, most times they actually mean it! It took me a long time also to say it. We never said "I love you" much in France, in my family anyway, and still don't. I can tell you I love you all you want in English, but in French it's really hard. Isn't it weird?
    I don't really turn to sugar when I don't feel loved, or maybe once in a while, but I'll find comfort food or snacks, or alcohol and numb it all.
    I don't love myself enough, but I think I love myself better than I used too. So I just need to keep working on it!
    Love 🙂

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