I wish I had known that my body was my temple. That everything I ate and did to it would have an influence on how it felt.
I wish I had known that there is no inevitability with health. That no one doctor or person could truly know what my body was capable of.
I wish I had known that no matter what happened or how worried I was about things that everything was going to be okay. That the answers would come and I would find a way.
There have been so many days, hours and years of my life where I have questioned myself, my health and where I was. I would pull things apart, put a close lens on who I am and try to find some deep-set solution to improve myself and my life. Somehow, no matter how far or deep I had been before didn’t compare to what I needed to focus on right now. Somehow, that inner voice of questioning never quit. It was my inner voice of doubt and that constant need to fix and improve. If my health was good, how could it be better?
I believed that the power of it all had to come from somewhere inside of me. That I needed to know more, research more and just work on myself more. It was an endless hunt and search of a never-ending improvement that never seemed to arrive.
I wish I had known that at some point, we have to stop and observe, listen and enjoy. Play. Marvel. Connect. Love.
I’ll be honest with you. I sometimes have these horrible thoughts where I regret not having found this way of healing sooner. I regret having gone down the path of hormones, drugs and painkillers. Not just because now I have to spend a huge amount of time cleaning it all out of my body but because I feel like so many of those years were wasted, that I was not utilizing my full potential. The Endo had limited my life. It had brainwashed my mind. I would often feel emotional, overwhelmed, have pain and feel tired. I didn’t have the energy to try new things, pick myself up and explore.
I also spent a huge portion of that time just not loving myself very much.
I was angry. Angry that I had a body that didn’t function the way it was meant to. I was angry that other girls, aged the same age as me, could drink all night and get up totally fine the next morning. I was angry that my diagnosis had said that I should not work in stressful environments, which limited my career prospects. In essence, I spent a large portion of those years just not loving my body.
The Endo has been a huge teacher. Not just to teach me about natural health but more a teacher of patience and love. I had to move to a place of marvel, of love for my body. Without it, I would eternally feel that deeply set anger which was oh-so-completely counterintuitive to my healing! The body is a marvel. It can heal and create life and it can alter the effects of imbalances in the body. If you have spent any length of time really trying to delve into how the body works, you will know that it is a neverending source of learning as everything influences each other and each element has several purposes. It truly is an amazing graceful power.
I want to share this new vision and profound outlook with you…
Over the next few months I want to share a new vision with you. It is the new vision for my blog, my website and ultimately my business. I want my new passion to sustain me, to provide for me but also to allow me to reach in ways I am not able to do on this level. It is the new frontier for me, you and all the women with Endometriosis. I am so happy that you are on this journey with me and can experience this new transformation as it happens.
Know that you are all that you need to be. That everything you need to know will arrive for you. That you are enough as you are right now.